Originally posted at 7 p.m. Tuesday, Jan. 13
Updated at 9:16 p.m.

The first night is over. “American Idol” is back. What did you think of new judge Kara DioGuardi? I thought she was pretty terrific. I think she’ll stand up to Simon, and she seems to offer at least some good advice. You guys can tell me what you think in the comments section.

In the meantime, feel free to vote on BIKINI GIRL. See you Wednesday.

Updated at 9 p.m.

CLICK ON THE JUDGES TO SEE SEASON 8 AUDITION PHOTOS

OK, cheesy use of a Coldplay song with this story about the sight-challenged guy Scott. He sings “And So It Goes” from Billy Joel. Good singer. Hair needs work.

Paula’s oogly. The judges say yes. We’ll have another backstory on him in three weeks.

WAIT, did Ryan (right) just try to high-five the guy?! What … a … tool.

Phoenix produced 27 Hollywood-bound contestants. Wednesday night is Kansas City, and it looks like it’ll be crazy!

Updated at 8:50 p.m.

Alex Wagner Trugman (sp?). He used to sing in his closet, where there was mold. Crickets indeed … Wow, this guy is a nerd.

He wants Randy to sing with him. We’ll see how smart THAT is. Randy sucks! “Dude you sang in pitch, it worked,” Randy says. Paula agrees. Simon hated it. (Maybe Alex should have worn a Speedo?)

Three yeses. I think Kara said yes just to piss off Simon.

Several tryouts tried singing “Dead or Alive,” by Bon frakking Jovi. Wow, I think this was a set-up by the “Idol” producers. Everyone sang this song. A montage and filler already? Maybe this could have been just an hour long show?

I’m with Randy. I can’t stop laughing.

Updated at 8:39 p.m.

Deanna’s in. She’s blond. Ryan’s creepy.

Cody Shelton from Detroit is up next, with all his family in tow. He’s a GOTH GUY, and loves to make horror films. Maybe he should hook up with Elijah Scarlett, the deep voiced dude.

“Your voice and your look don’t really add up,” Kara says. And that’s a good thing. He makes it. Enough with the camera tricks, producers.

Updated at 8:28 p.m.

Aww riiiight. Meet Sexual Chacolate. He’s got a tattoo across his back that says so.

Dawg. Randy, I can’t keep track of those.

SexyChoco, Eric really, doesn’t impress Simon, or any of the other judges. Mom’s getting him a car for being booted.

Wah, wah. Disappointed people. Go back to the shower.

Perky Brianna sings “Let’s Hear It for the Boys.” They like her personality. Paula wants to hear “Killing Me Softly.” It’s still a no. Get the hook! She won’t stop!

Two nos. Paula says yes. Wow, and tiebreaker Simon says yes.

Updated at 8:17 p.m.

An oil driller! Michael’s got the fifth most dangerous job in the world, he says. I thought Simon had that…

Simon says Michael is the complete opposite of Ryan Seacrest—meaning Simon must not think Ryan works. Simon and Ryan should just make out sometime and get the flirting over with. All four judges say he’s going to Hollywood. He struck gold, Ryan says. (I was about to type that, dammit.)

BIKINI GIRL!!!!

Ryan’s fawning all over Katrina Darrell. She’s teasing him. Is she taller than he is?

Simon’s says she’s smart dressing in the bikini. Before she’s done, Simon says “beautiful.” Cameraman loves her, um, butt.

Simon, Randy say yes. Kara sings the same song, showing her how it SHOULD be done. “You don’t have the chops to sing that song, sweetie,” Kara says.

“You’re demonstration wasn’t any better,” Katrina says.

OH NO SHE DIDN’T.

“Welcome to Hollywood,” Paula says after some back-and-forth. “Next time come naked,” Kara says. Randy makes her jump up and down. Dawg's a perv.

The female judges (above) hated her, but Simon gets the tie-breaker vote.

Ugh, she kisses Ryan. She IS taller than he is. Ryan jumps in the pool after him. I think we’re about to have our next Idol scandal, people.

Updated at 8:03 p.m.

Stevie Wright got her name from Stevie Nicks. Well, from her mom, but her mom liked Stevie Nicks. Good thing her mom wasn’t a fan of Axl Rose.

She nails it, and the judges say yes. But Simon wants her to toughen up and become a competitor. “She’s got Kelly Clarkson strength,” Paula says.

Updated at 8 p.m.

Day Two in Phoenix, but first a look at awfulness from season’s past.

Elijah Scarlett … He’s putting us on. Dawg, Dawg. Randy’s back.

My cat just started mewing loudly. She’s staring at the screen and Elijah singing. “That was like something out of a horror movie,” Simon says. Paula puts a nice spin on it: “You could do voice over work, like for horror movies.”

Giggly cowgirl onscreen. Lea Marie Gold (right). Not too much? Um, sweetie—TOO MUCH. She’s Kara’s biggest fan. She has a songwriting book—with “100 original songs.” She’s singing “Every Time We Touch.” Ya know it?

Simon’s rolling his eyes. Paula loves her, but … judges say NO.

Kara actually gives her good advice. Singing from her sinuses. Says she’s obviously committed, but needs more time.

Kara snaps at Simon. Love her.

Updated at 7:47 p.m.

Michael G. sand a Carrie Underwood song, then he kinda passed out.

Fox is showing some really bad auditions and comparing them to the original singers. Classic.

Aundre Caraway (left) calls Kara Carla in the pre-audition interview. Oops. Hope he doesn’t do that in the audition. Doesn’t seem like she’d appreciate that. Aundre needs a Quaalude or something.

Judges say no, but Aundre won’t go away. The bouncer send him out.

The next tryout started and “Adopt-a-Grand-Friend” program. Nice, but can she sing? “Put Your Records” is her choice. She’s going to Hollywood.

Day One in Phoenix ends, and Kara says she’s having a great time.

Updated at 7:33 p.m.

J.B.'s in--and he's crying.

Michael G. is scared of the judges. He’s singing some song I’ve never heard of, and I’m not sure I’d recognize it from the way he’s singing. Randy J. can’t stop laughing.

“You could have been singing in Bulgarian,” Simon says. Paula agrees.

Randy says five minutes won’t help him, “not even five years” would. Now he tries a song by Kara, and it’s worse.

Bu-bye Michael.

Updated at 7:30 p.m.

Randy Madden’s a “rock star living in a box,” whatever that means. Oh, he works in a cubicle office. I get it.

Wow, Randy’s a baby. I mean, he’s sensitive. Run, Randy, run!

Friday is rocker day at Randy’s office. He sings “Living on a Prayer” by Bon frakking Jovi.

Simon calls it wimpy. (He must have seen him crying.) He tries again. No, Randy says. He calls him a drama queen. Tattoos and bandanna don’t make you a rock star, Randy says.

Forget Randy, check out Paula and Simon fighting already. LOVE it. “Oh shut up,” Paula tells Simon.

Randy is sad, and Simon tells him not to beg. Randy cries again.

I’ve lit a candle for Randy’s crushed dream.

Updated at 7:20 p.m.

Meet Kara DioGuardi, new judge.

We're starting in Phoenix. First contestant is Tuan Nguyen, 20, of Biloxi, Miss. He sings "The Way You Make Me Feel." That's Michael Jackson, right? High hair and tap dancing, but he's not very good.

Judges say "no." Tuan is disappointed. Hmmmm.

Emily is a singer in an all-girl band, and she's singing "Barracuda" by Heart. Rocker girl. Pink hair, and Pink's hair. Simon says she's very good. Paula says Top 5, but we've only seen two. If she makes it, she's dumping her band. NOT NICE.

The way that I sleep at night," she says, she can bring the girls along Daughtry style.

Four yes votes. She's in, and the band's out.

Updated at 7:08 p.m.

The show opened with flashbacks to season's past, including Clay Aiken and Simon Cowell both sporting much better 'dos. Past bad auditions, The Hoff, Sanjaya Malakar, Willilam Hung, former winners, all set to the tune of "What a Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong.

And we saw David Cook winning last year, with a group of preteen girls gasping when it wasn't David Archuleta. Oh to be young again.

Posted at 7 p.m. Tuesday, Jan. 13

Welcome to the Vital Idol blog. We've moved it to Show Patrol because I'll be doing it this year. Brian Moore has moved onto sports, but he says he'll miss the blog.

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With all due respect to the reporter of this "story", and at the risk of raining on anyone's parade, I have to ask one simple, basic question here.

Who gives a damn? This show's 15 minutes of fame ran out three seasons ago.

Curt's reply: Apparently 30.1 million viewers care, CGull. That's the early ratings for Tuesday's episode. Thanks for commenting.

Don't like Kara. She was very nice to Lea Marie Gold. Gave her good advice. Then when she left the room, Kara made a snarky comment about her. Showed her true colors. At least Simon makes snarky comments to competitors faces.

Curt's reply: We'll see about Kara. I'm thinking she's good.

I went ahead and voted but in all honesty, I think it is lame that we are giving her this much time and attention. She was so off on so many notes and not even anything all that special to look at. My prediction....she will be cut in the first round, even if she shows up naked next time, LOL! Also, someone needs to tell her that if she is going to use her looks to get ahead in life, she really should consider some fake boobs to compliment the rest of her fakeness. Talk about FLAT CHESTED! If she gets the boob job, there is always the porno industry which is where she really belongs.
Curt's reply: Ouch, Connie! What up!? lol Thanks for commenting.

The new judge, Kara, is simply horrible. Enough said. No need to expound on the topic.
Curt's reply: I disagree! I think she has good stuff to say!. Give her some time Craig. Thanks for commenting.

Straight up now tell me: Will Paula Abdul ever go away? Even when she was in the charts her "talent" was suspect. Goofy look, voice, dancer, what else? "writer".

Curt's reply: Poor, poor Paula. Thanks for commenting.

So glad I gave up this show. Why should we waste 1-2 hours/week for almost half a year so these idiot judges can get rich? Read a book.

Curt's reply: Some people like to watch, Bill. And that's OK. Thanks for commenting.

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