Posted at 9 a.m. Wednesday, May 27

FIND SHOW PATROL HERE!

I hate moving. The sorting, the packing, the lifting. Ugh.

But Show Patrol is moving, and I’m loving it! From now on you can find me at Chicago Now, a brand new network of the coolest, most interesting and provocative blogs in Chicago.

And me. All TV all the time, just like it’s been for the past few years. So change your link to me to this, and join me at my new home. If you see this icon, you're in the right place.

RedEye has a blog there, with several RedEye favorites joining the fun, including 2Do, ChiTunes, 5 on 5 and Tracy’s Bus Ride. RedEye staff writer Kyra Kyles has her own blog, because she has a lot to say—brilliantly. We have a few new features, including Oh Snap!, My Life Sucks and 50 Fests.

See you at Chicago Now.

Conan O’Brien isn’t worried that viewers will get tired of all the talk fests on TV. But just in case, the future “Tonight Show” host has a plan.

“I think at some point my show is going to have to morph into a detective show,” O’Brien said during a Tuesday conference call. “I think four weeks in, Andy Richter and I will be solving crimes. It’s going to be ‘Murder, She Wrote’ with a slightly younger demo.”

Posted at 7:30 p.m. Monday, May 25

Reality TV is all about wedded bliss this week, with the premieres of no fewer than five—that I can think of—TV shows testing the bonds of marriage and the power of fame.

To be honest, I can’t think why anyone would agree to be filmed in the early going of their marriages, or just before—at all really. But that’s the monster created by reality TV: Non-celebrities like Jon and Kate Gosselin airing their dirty laundry to the nation, or celebrities Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott going there time and again.

It’s TMI all the time in my opinion, so take my ratings with a grain of salt. And feel free to call me a snob, but I do not care about your lives, people on most reality TV.

My ratings in this post are based purely on whether the show made me laugh (4) or cringe (1).

Posted at 6:30 p.m. Monday, May 25

SCIENCE OF THE MOVIES
8 p.m. Tuesday, The Science Channel
Tune in or out? out of four.

Nar Williams, the man behind the Web site Achieve Nerdvana, must have been beside himself while filming this new series. He gets to meet the wizards who create mind-blowing movie and TV special effects.

Posted at 11 a.m. Monday, May 25

DREAMS WITH SHARP TEETH
8 p.m. Monday, Sundance
Tune in or out? out of four.

The main thing we learn about author and provocateur Harlan Ellison in Erik Nelson's overstuffed documentary is something we already knew: Ellison is a mad genius.

Posted at 3 p.m. Sunday, May 24

U.S. Senator Joan Cameron (Judy Davis, left) searches for answers in her daughter's death. ABC photos

DIAMONDS
8 p.m. Sunday and Tuesday, ABC
Tune in or out? out of four.

This ambitious two-part film about the seedy blood diamond trade loosely weaves together five stories, which is at least two stories too many.

Posted at 5 p.m. Friday, May 22

JANE LYNCH SERVES UP LAUGHS

Rob Thomas’ hilarious comedy “Party Down” wraps up its first season Friday, but its motley crew of cater-waiters isn’t serving its last laughs.

Starz has given the series a second season, which means Thomas and his co-creators—John Enbom, Dan Etheridge and Paul Rudd—are busy brainstorming 10 more events the Party Down team will cater. Nothing’s set in stone, Thomas told me last week, but it’s obvious these guys would make awesome party planners.

Posted at 3:54 p.m. Thursday, May 21

Smooth & Dreamy Webisodes
Free at SmoothandDreamy.com/love

Jane Krakowski of “30 Rock” channels Scarlett O’Hara in this funny “Gone With the Wind” spoof. With the help of green-screen technology, she actually comes face to face with Clark Gable's Rhett Butler. Sure, it’s a glorified ad for Breyers Smooth & Dreamy ice cream, but frankly my dears, I don’t give a damn. It’s funny. You can sign up for a chance to win a Hollywood vacation at the site as well, and watch a behind-the-scenes video on how the ad was created. Sometime in June, Krakowski’s take on “King Kong” will be on the site.

And this just in from NBC: Krakowski will host the network’s 7 p.m. May 26 airing of “TV’s 50 Funniest Phrases.” Will “Legendary!” or “Hug it out” or “No soup for you” for you make the list? They probably all will. Jeremy Piven, Gabe Kaplan, Dana Carvey, Neil Patrick Harris, Jean Stapleton, Andy Griffith, Keenen Ivory Wayans, Jackie Gleason, Bob Newhart, Penny Marshall, Polly Holliday and Redd Foxx are among the stars featured in the two-hour special.

Posted at 1:55 p.m. Thursday, May 21

The cast of the CW's new, "The Beautiful Life." CW photos

The CW is banking on models—both real and fictional—as well as vampires, superheroes and apartment dwellers who look like models to make its Fall 2009 season a success.

Tyra Banks’ “America’s Next Top Model” returns, along with “The Glamorous Life,” a scripted drama from Ashton Kutcher about the downside of modeling. Another new drama, “The Vampire Diaries,” is based on the best-selling books of the same name about two vampires competing for teenagers’ souls. The network is tapping into Aaron Spelling’s 1990s successes again too. It will relaunch “Melrose Place” just as it has “Beverly Hills 90210.” "Smallville" moves to Fridays, but "Privileged," "Everybody Hates Chris" and "The Game" are done, the CW said.

Posted at 9 a.m. Thursday, May 21

VITAL IDOL: FINALE LIVEBLOG

So, Kris Allen is your new American Idol.

As Simon, Paula, Randy and Kara would say: America, you played it safe.

By voting for the low-key Kris over the more daring Adam Lambert, America chose the lesser of two talents.