Posted by Tracy Swartz- 7:04 p.m., May 14

I haven’t had many Blue Line woes lately mostly because I’ve been riding my "new" bike -- a Schwinn mutt affectionately dubbed "The Party Animal" -- to work.

Both rides have their ups and downs. So a bike vs. bus vs. train faceoff seems only natural.

Riding dirty

>> Bike: I might as well just buy pants with dirt smudges at the ankles. The spots pop out of nowhere like clouds on an outdoor café day.

>> Bus: The two buses I take, the #50 and #65, are generally clean. I wish all its riders followed suit.

>> Train: The conditions in the cars aren’t great, and the stations can be even worse. I can only imagine Stone Phillips on his hands and knees with a blacklight and swabs, shaking his head on a Dateline segment.

Advantage: Bus

Waiting game

>> Bike: Only at red lights and when I don’t have the moxie to cut in front of taxi drivers.

>> Bus: The worst. The only thing that tests my patience more is watching a guy fiddle with his Blackberry during a playdate.

>> Train: Not as bad as the bus, partly because the Damen Stop is kind of a meet market.

Advantage: Bike

Built for speed

>> Bike: A coworker spotted me on "The Party Animal" and commented that it seemed like I was taking a Sunday afternoon stroll. But, of course, it was a Wednesday. I’m slowly getting used to the glares from the cagers.

>> Bus: It seems pretty slow when you’re on it but it’s like Sandra Bullock is behind the wheel when you’re chasing after it.

>> Train: More jerky back-and-forth than a presidential debate.

Advantage: Train

Oh, I’m so confused … Which gives you the smoothest ride?

I keep coming back to the top entry under "waiting game" where you admit to stopping at red lights.

Thank you.

I almost got clocked the other day at Lincoln and Paulina. Sign said walk, little cartoon character thingy appears and I'm good to go -- until the next thing I see is the biker's nose hairs.

Not good.

As far as the smoothest ride, gotta give props to the train.

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