Posted by Cara DiPasquale - 11:57 a.m., April 25

No one got up for me on the bus today.

Ordinarily, I wouldn’t expect it. In fact, after years of CTA experience, I don’t really expect it now.

But it would be nice, considering that I’m nine months pregnant. This is not the is-she-pregnant-or-just-pudgy? stage. This is the stage where people were actually staring at me in the food court the other day, probably fearing that I’d give birth right then and there.

I’m not usually one to expect special treatment. And I don’t consider pregnancy a disability. I’m still doing most of the things I typically do—like riding the bus, coming to work—as my due date approaches in five days. But sitting down on a crowded bus would be nice. And I know I'm not alone. RedEye gets e-mails often from mothers-to-be who've been through the same thing on the CTA and just want a break.

So next time all you young, healthy, non-pregnant people see elderly, disabled or ready-to-pop women on the bus, get off your butts and give them a rest, please. They could use it.

I agree with you heartily! I always stand up when someone needs a seat more than I do. Had I been on that bus or train, I would have given you my seat. Here's to everyday politeness!

That sucks. If I were there you would have had a seat. There are some decent people left in the world. Apparently they just don't rife the same bus line as you. :(

I'm sorry that happened to you. As someone who is pudgy and pregnant, I am just preparing myself to flat-out ask people for their seat when I get to my third trimester and really need to sit.

Why should I have to give up my seat to you? I spent all day on my feet and I deserve to sit for the twenty minutes to and from work. You on the other hand have that cushy office job and could afford to spend a few minutes upright.

I agree with Alex. I paid for my ride. And if I have a seat, I shouldn't have to give it up for any reason. If you can't find a seat, oh well, too bad. And it isn't our fault you got pregnant. So stand and deal with it.

All of the times I've been pregnant, I must have been in buses and el trains with Alex & Mike instead of Matt & John.

I'd like to remind A & M that our kids are the ones who will be working to pay for your social security. So you have a vested interest in making sure they have a good prenatal experience so that they are not born with any difficulties that could prevent them from making a good living.

I sympathize. But this is not the first time you've complained about being pregnant and not getting a seat. Given the state of the CTA and the overly crowded buses and trains, if you're that uncomfortable that you can't stand, I think it's best that you take a cab or carpool.

I have never been pregnant, but I am quite full-figured. It's uncomfortable for me too to have to stand. Why do we automatically assume that pregnant women deserve seats, but fat people don't?

Ok it's like totally wrong that no one got up for you, that's illegal. But did you ASK anyone if you could sit in their seat and say "I'm pregnant, would you mind?" If not, then shame on you. That's child abuse!

I encourage Alex and Mike to think about their moms when they were pregnant with them. You guys would be okay with your mom standing on a crowded bus while others sat contently, their eyes level with a pregnant belly? Can't take the safety factor into consideration, let alone just plain decency? I am embarrased that people in this world can be that selfish, that rude, and that ignorant. Good luck out there. Hope people are a little kinder to you than you are to them.

Sorry, but being pregnant doesn't afford you the right to the seat that I GOT fair and square before you even thought about getting on the same train as me, especially when I will be on the bus or the train for a VERY long time. Old/disabled people are a different story. No one chooses to get old, and most people do not choose to be disabled, so, on RARE occasion, I will get up for old/disabled people. You, on the other hand, CHOSE to get knocked up, and I'm not going to be inconvenienced simply because you knowingly decided to put your body through a very lethal process of feeding a parasite for 10 months and then excreting it through a hold no wider than in a Dunkin Donut after it has completely ravaged every single system in your body. More importantly, I don't see how you should get props for being able to do "most things" that you typically did before you got pregnant, especially if that includes *GASP* going to work! How about this? How about we petition the United States government to give out medals to pregnant women who take the bus or the train to work all over the country? I mean, so what if this country was built on the back of pregnant women who trudged out into the fields to plow, sow, and god knows what else and, more often than not, wound up giving birth while working in said fields? I guess we've considerably soften over the past 200 years, but I digress. If you're so concerned with your comfortability after CHOOSING to be pregnant, then your pregnant self can CHOOSE to take a cab to work or any of the other things you still "typically" do :-).

I remember the good old days when people had manners and would give up their seats without question. I actually stood on a Rock Island train this past Christmas season that was packed to the rafters, with young and old, pregnant and non-pregnant. What I found disturbing about the ride (in which I stood the whole way) was the fact that 85% of the seats were filled with teenagers, while all around me there were people who I believe were probably in their 70s and 80s standing. In the car behind me I actually saw 1 woman holding a baby in her arms right in front of a 4 seater filled with teens. Her husband was behind here holding the hand of a 3 or 4 year old. Even my 10 year old nephew made a comment about how he would give up his seat. I don't think it's a matter of "I paid for a seat" it is just plain old manners which is sorely lacking in this society. I'm in my late 50s and I will offer my seat to anyone I see who looks older than me, that's just the way I was raised.

Alex and Mike clearly don't have wives, and it's not hard to see why. When and if that time ever comes around, imagine the woman who's carrying your baby being at the kind of risk standing on a bus can carry, and by that time you'll also know that women who are 5 days away from birth don't sleep much, often have problems balancing because your child is messing with their bodies, not to mention the back pain your darling son/daughter is causing with all the kicking and fighting.
As for why fat people deserve a seat as much as a pregnant woman - see my earlier comments. If you don't sit for 10 minutes you're going to be uncomfortable. If a 40 week pregnant woman doesn't sit for 10 minutes you might get wet shoes, and she might end up with a baby born on a bus. I think that comment is worse than the ignorant guys actually.

Oh, my... this is why women give birth to children instead of men. Alex and Mike..watch out or else you'll start sounding like Alec Baldwin.

I think people are missing the issue. Yes, we all pay for our rides on the CTA. Yes, normally it's first come, first served. However, the CTA has reserved seats specifically for the disabled, elderly, and expecting mothers. And in case you forget, it's posted in every bus and train car! This isn't just common courtesy, it's a policy. Next time you see a pregnant woman ready to pop, get up, and shut up.

We need more polite people in this world and less selfish. The mom does the hardest of the work carrying a child and to go through all the labor bringing you into the world. Give up your damn seat!

At least you have an obvious "disability." I'm relatively young but have an invisible one, rheumatoid arthritis, and asking for someone's seat would just get me laughed at. Despite the fact that my feet go numb after standing in one place for 2 minutes, I still am usually the only one to give up a seat for a pregnant woman. A strong glare and roll of the eyes usually makes the young-n-healthy ones feel guilty though. Hopefully they'll be the ones to get up next time.

I've been pregnant. I've been fat. I've worked in jobs where I've been on my feet all day - in heels, no less! Pregnancy is WAY different from any of these other circumstances.

Pregnant women need a seat. It is WAY different from being fat or tired from a long day at work. It zaps your energy like nothing else. It plays with your equilibrium. As you get bigger and bigger, you are more unsteady.

Cara, I can sympathize - I've been the pregnant woman who had to ask people to give up a seat too. I can't believe how rude and obnoxious people can be about it.

Not all pregnant women can afford to take cabs or carpool every day. And although everyone pays for their ride on the CTA, the CTA (and federal law) does not guarantee you a seat if you are able to stand. People with this attitude should be made to feel what it's like to be pregnant or disabled for 5 minutes - I guarantee you will change your mind!!!

Please... Alex and Mike... This isn't about how we all have a "right" to a seat that we paid for: it's about common courtesy. I'm a woman (and a fat one at that, Mary Rose!) who is more than happy to give up my seat for a pregnant woman or a disabled or elderly person. Why? Because I respect the fact that those people may be experiencing far more discomfort than I do when standing during a bus ride. And what does it cost me? Not a thing.

If you were standing near me and I noticed you were pregnant I would be up in less than a second offering you a seat. It's called "common decency".

I'm six months pregnant and I am certainly worn out after a long day of work--regardless of a "cushy" office job where I sit at my desk all day. After five minutes standing in a crowded bus, my feet start to swell and my back starts killing me. However, I think it's presumptuous to expect total strangers to just give up their seat to you, no matter how pregnant you are. Look, if I choose to ride the CTA during rush hour, I have to expect that I'm going to stand during part or all of my trip. If someone is kind enough to give up their seat, I'm very grateful. But I'm not going to shoot dirty looks and sigh heavily because I'm not getting a seat. I'm healthy enough to work, I'm healthy enough to walk to stores and restaurants...if I get on a bus or train I should be healthy enough to stand. That being said, I'm DEFNITELY going to be more conscious of pregnant ladies now that I know what they are going through, but if others don't feel the same way, that's their prerogative.

Alex and Mike, ofcourse you can't sympathize since you can never be in this position. I'm sure if you were, you would be singing a different tune. I hope you atleast have the decency to give your seats up for the elderly!

WOW. I am amazed at how mean-hearted some of you are. We all came from pregnant ladies...so until you have been pregnant yourself, I doubt you have much room to argue about being uncomfortable. To the men that don't agree with giving up a seat to a pregnant lady, good luck with your love lives. To 'fat' people, that discomfort may be something you can help. All in all, what happened to good manners and polite gestures. People in general nowadays are too self-righteous and too quick on passing judgement. Let it go. Do the right thing.

When I was a pregnant bus rider, I remember an elderly woman in the front of the bus told one of the other riders to get up so I could sit down. When disabled riders or elderly people got on the bus, this lady would tell younger, healthier riders to "get up and let that person sit!" It was funny, because everybody did what she said. I appreciated it, because I wouldn't have been bold enough to ask anyone for their seat.

Let me first say that I am a woman, though have never been pregnant (and never intend to become). And while I sympathize, you are neither elderly nor disabled. And while it would be a simple act of courtesy for one to offer you their seat, you should not going around expecting favors in life because you are pregnant. People don't chose to be old nor disabled. You chose to become pregnant. It is not a "get out of jail free card". First its the bus, then...no wait time in a restaurant? Skip to the head of the checkout line at the grocery store...?

I remember when I was pregnant, had developed a pinched nerve in my lower back and having to stand on the bus and/or the train part of my route home after a long day of being on my feet all day at work. It is shameful, to say the least, one should not have "to ask" for what we all know are human decencies/courtesies (and shame on those of you who feel you should have to). Unfortunately, there are some truly miserable, nasty people in this world who make it a point to be more miserable and nasty to others---If you are on the bus or train and see a pregnant or elderly person standing, give them your seat, make it your good deed for the day. Keep into consideration, after that bus ride, the elderly will still be elderly and still have to deal with all that that involves, the pregnant woman still has to deal with all the issues involved with being pregnant (including my personal favorite, especially now with a toddler: sleeplessness) but, you can go home and get the rest you need (perhaps even utilize that time to seek out a "...cushy desk job..." so, perhaps, you are not so bitter. Treat strangers you encounter in your day, the way you would want a stranger to treat some one you love.

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